Loserboy's Blog

December 29, 2017	The Secret to Ultimately Strong Scissors	Off-topic	6 years ago
September 5, 2016	Oops...	Off-topic	7 years ago


Friday December 29 2017 - The Secret to Ultimately Strong Scissors	Off-topic
This is the secret of my scissors. During all these years, I managed to make people submit by squeezing them between my legs because of this. This is the perfect thing that will tell you how to beat all of your opponents: It looks like a book, but nope, it's not. If it was a book, it would be a 500 pages book that would blabber nonsense or perhaps teach you the secret martial arts techniques of squeezing the life out of your adversaries. It can't be a DVD cover/holder because the dimensions are too thick and weird. It's actually a VHS tape... That last sentence just reminds me how old I am now. And I'm really just kidding. I found this the other day while cleaning up some old junk from my friend's apartment and I felt like taking a picture and sharing it for the heck of it. I'm sure many people out there really use this to build up their legs... well, not the VHS variant. Nowadays, it would rather be through clips on YouTube. Nah, my scissors comes from rollerblading.... I think. And truth be told, I haven't rollerbladed since a while now. Last summer was so shitty that I didn't even think of getting my skates out of the box. So yeah, this VHS tape clunker is a worthless antiquity that now belongs to a landfill because I'm sure that even the local non-profit organization has no use for this. I still remember that we used to have a huge library of tapes just about 2 decades ago. A 2 hours tape meant high quality play, 4 hours was medium quality, but we had everything recorded under 6 hours so we can cram as many shows or movies as we can since these tapes were already taking so much space... Not to mention that the price of 3$ per tape was steep for me back then. Nowadays, you get blank DVDs at a rate of approximately 50 cents per disc, but who wants obsolete discs when you can cram a gigantic load of junk in USB keys and external hard drives that holds 1,000 times more than what DVDs can hold? For some reason, I thought the bottom of the box reads: "For men's things, butt and calves". I was wondering what "things" this tape is referring to... It took me quite a while to finally realize that this tape was referring to thighs. But hey, I'm sure that by working on your thighs, it will make the things between your legs better.... and harder.
Blog ID 175

Monday September 5 2016 - Oops...	Off-topic
I haven't rollerbladed since about 2 years and I haven't maintained my rollerblades since then either. A back injury and in the leg in the past years forced me to take a pause, but I'm fine now so I've decided to get back to it just recently. The power in my legs is mostly attributed to skating... it gives good strength to supply my body scissors with enough pressure to make a good amount of opponents tap. I was too lazy to bring my blades for a tune up so I went to the Gilles-Villeneuve circuit anyway and started dashing. Yes, that's a racetrack where they hold the Formula 1 race each year. It was also used for the Nascar a couple of years ago. The rest of the time, cyclists, runners and rollerbladers can use it as their own practice or exercise track. Anyway, mid-way through my 2nd lap, I tripped down, landed on both my hands, but it was not enough to stop my speed, so I rolled over my right shoulder and continued rolling sideways... until enough rotations were able to stop me. Thankfully, I had protection: helmet, kneepads and gloves, so I didn't get hurt... my right hand and right should felt just slightly numb, but no blood or bruises. Phew... It's days like this that I really think an angel was looking after me. I looked back to see what made me trip.. and I found this: Yes, you're seeing it right. The screw holding one of the wheels fell off so that wheel left my rollerblade... which explains why I lost balance. A nearby cyclist saw me tumble, he slowed down and stopped, he picked the wheel that left the blade and gave it back to me. He asked me: - "Are you ok?" I replied: - "Yes, I'm fine thanks." - "Good luck." He slowly drove away... now it's a bit of a wishful thinking, but he looked like Emmet Blois from the Amazing Race.. or I was just dreaming it. Man, he was handsome. Nevertheless, the tumble was real and my rollerblades were no longer usable, so I took a bus back to my place. If any of this went sideways, I could have ended my wrestling days... I mean I could have killed or injured myself badly in an accident just there. It'll teach me not to tune up my skates after such a long absence. I was extremely lucky to get out of this unharmed.
Blog ID 87